My recklessness and God's Protection

6/6/2012

Thought I’d try a new font.

Today I begin my blog with a confession, not to my readers but to myself: I drive far too recklessly on my motorcycle. There is no reason for it, and it is incredibly dangerous, yet I continue to do it. I think I’m going to try and stop, simply so people will stop warning me about it. And I suppose for my own safety as well. And here I am contemplating getting an even faster bike. Perhaps I will never learn.

My new job seems to only get better as time progresses. The little perks continue to make an appearance, my coworkers have been very welcoming and helpful, and the work itself is moderately complex with a low level of difficulty. So far my only complaint is simultaneously my own fault: apparently I work too fast. I have had two different supervisors compliment me on how quickly I am catching on and how efficient I am, but one of them actually told me to slow down because I was finishing my work faster than they could generate more for me to do. But in my opinion, I would rather be too fast and be a little bored than not be fast enough and make a bad impression on my direct superiors. I should also keep in mind that the real work hasn’t fully started yet and I am still finishing up training. I have been told that once training is over, I will have a slightly steadier workflow, but only time will tell. The pay helps too.

God has been with me multiple times and in multiple ways lately, in very noticeable ways. And for that, I am thankful. Oftentimes I feel that I take God’s love and presence for granted. He has given me so much and protected me from so many dangers, and most of the time I don’t even acknowledge or thank him for it. I have no other excuse other than my lack of true commitment to my faith. And that is something that I need to strengthen above all else. Prayers from my readers would be appreciated.

My apologies if my blogs tend to skip subjects several times in a single post. My mind is constantly doing the same, and it’s one of the only ways I am able to write at all.

The next stage in my life is a bit of a scary one: it’s finally time for me to move out and be completely independent. And that means finding my own place to live. Given my expensive tastes in basically everything, I am trying my absolute hardest to avoid moving into an apartment, and if I can help it, I don’t even want to have a roommate. It’s nothing personal, I simply just do better when my living space is entirely my own, and I think that’s true for anyone. Correct me if I’m wrong. Because of this, I believe I am going to buy a house by the end of the year. Nothing big or fancy of course, because I can’t afford it and simply don’t need it. Just something decent that isn’t falling to pieces and has a garage that can fit my car and bike is really all I’m asking for, so if any of my readers happen to see or hear of a good deal on a decent, smaller house in the Madison/Ridgeland area, don’t hesitate to let me know.

I suppose I’ve wasted enough of your time at this point. And now it is time for me to go find some work to do, if there is any left.

Much love, my friends.

“Greater love has no man than this: that he would lay down his life for another.”

The Next Chapter

Hello again my friends.

Yet again I have been hit with a large amount of change. A change that I have been waiting on for a long time. Ladies and gentlemen, I have finally found a job. I have started working at Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance in Ridgeland. So far I've only worked a week due to a previously planned vacation, but the first week was fantastic. Maybe it's because it is radically different from all the random food service jobs I have been forced to have all throughout high school and college. Maybe it's because it pays a bit more. Or maybe it's just because I simply have enjoyed what I've done so far. Regardless, I am very pleased. But despite the happiness, there is always that feeling in my mind that time is moving so much more quickly than I want it to. I follow a certain account on Twitter called The 90s Life that, of course, tweets about any and all things 90s. Seeing their posts remind me so much of my childhood and bring back so many memories. And I feel like I should still be there. I feel like I should still be living in Ridge Park, waking up early to watch Power Rangers, having my mom drive me everywhere, and only worry about school first thing in the morning, more as a chore than actual school. Deep down, I still feel like I should be a child, because parts of me feel like I still am. But I'm not. I am an adult with an adult job, a car, a motorcycle, and my own bills and responsibilities (and hopefully soon, my own house). I am not complaining, I am simply explaining how strange it feels to be at this stage of my life. Weeks feel like days now. Part of me longs for the past and is afraid of the future, but part of me is excited to see what God has in store for me. After seeing all he has done for me in the past, how he has provided everything I could ever need and more than I deserve of what I want, and how he has protected me from so many things despite me not living for him as I ought, I can only imagine what he is going to do in the future. And that, my friends, is what really keeps me going.

On a lighter note, the vacation that I mentioned earlier was a trip to North Carolina with my father to a remote place called Deal's Gap. There is a motorcycle resort in the mountains that is one of the most popular places to ride in America. We went in the middle of the week during what the employees referred to as a slow period, and there were still at least 150 or more motorcycles. Only downside was that the vast majority were Harleys and other massive choppers. My father and I felt very outnumbered. But It was still fantastic. The course itself was actually a public highway, but the traffic was 90% motorcycles. It contained 318 turns in 11 miles, many of which were complete 180 degree turns. It was an extreme adrenaline rush. You barely had time to come out of one hard turn before you were shooting straight into another. Some of the turns were so abrupt that I could hear the metal bottoms of my foot pegs dragging the ground. There was also a large degree of danger. In some spots, the side of the road dropped off into a ravine that I could not see the bottom of. But strangely enough, knowing that the danger was there almost made it more enjoyable. And the scenery was absolutely gorgeous. Mountains covered in lush green trees, enormous winding rivers and valleys, clear blue skies (for the most part). I'm not much of a camera man, but I took more photos and videos on this one trip than I have all year. If anyone wishes to see any of them, I would be more than happy to share. Some were even taken by professional photographers that had tents set up at some of the sharper curves. Best vacation I've had in years.

One of the biggest things my new job has done for me is give me a new found appreciation for Saturday's and the ability to sleep in and have a bit of freedom. So now, I am going to go enjoy that freedom. Much love my friends, and God bless.

"And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me."

Restart

Almost forgot I had this blog.

Forgive me my friends, I have been absent lately due to a large amount of things. Life has a way of keeping all of us busy. Which is funny, considering I can't even seem to find a real job.

Ever since I first started hunting for a job, I've been nervous and impatient. I feel like I've been searching long enough. I feel like I am stuck in a vicious cycle of not having experience and not being hired because of not having experience. I feel like as someone of my age and having a degree, I should be able to get a job and move on with the next stage of my life. I was almost angry with life for not giving me what I felt like I deserved. But I was gravely mistaken.

God has shown me lately that I have to run on his time and not my own. I should not expect things to be thrown into my lap as I see fit. God has a plan for me, as he does for all of us. But the biggest disconnect that most of us have is patience. Patience is something I have struggled with throughout my entire life. Waiting for something is almost painful for me to do because I want things immediately. Having to wait makes me feel like I am out of control of the things in my life. But as I have been praying and meditating on God's will and his word lately, I have come to realize that I was not meant to control my own life. I must simply do as God tells me to do and live according to his will. Then, and only then, will I have the ability to be patient.

"Let go and let God."

Forgive me. Despite having the desire to write and express myself, something is holding me back. Perhaps I need to clear a few things in my head before I can truly write with the literary talents I once had.

Jesus and Religion

Jesus vs. Religion

I'm sure many of you have seen the video that I have posted the link to above. If not, I do encourage you to watch it in its entirety before reading this post.

The topic this man discusses in this video is one that has always confused me and brought much turmoil into my life. When I was younger, I simply chose to ignore it and went to church as my parents told me to, to the church they told me to go to, without question. But as I have gotten older, the weight has become heavier on my heart to attempt to discover the truth behind Jesus Christ and the basis of religion. Now I know that this video is viewed as highly controversial to most people. And I know that many of you will most likely do not agree with what this man says, but personally, I believe I do. Now that certainly does not mean that I am completely against the church and believe that going to church is a bad thing because it supports religion. I go to church regularly to hear God's word and apply it to my life so that I may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior. But what I am saying is that this man makes excellent points. Religion has been the cause of countless wars throughout history. Just look at the Holy Wars throughout the 11th through 13th centuries. I have seen the church cast out people who they believed were lost in sin, such as single mothers or people who were divorced as he says. Most of the examples he gives are things that I have seen firsthand. But the thing that hit me the hardest about this video was when he said that religion is like "a behavior modification with a long list of chores". I am going to be honest, growing up I have often viewed what I thought was being a Christian as a list of rules and regulations that I have to follow or else I am not worthy of God's presence. I felt oppressed by all the things I was doing wrong and all the things I couldn't do. I felt constrained by all the rules and felt like it wasn't giving me joy but anguish and stress. So what he says is something that I believe is true. Having a relationship with Jesus Christ is more than just having a group of people in a fancy building telling you how to live your life. It is knowing down to your very core that Christ has saved us from our sins and He has given us His word that instructs us on how to live and because of that, we can be free to live with Him and feel His love in our lives. With a relationship like that, following all these so-called "rules" doesn't seem so hard after all, because of the love we feel. And that, my friends, is what I feel to be true Christianity.

Agree with me, or don't, it matters not. This is simply my opinion. I could say so much more, but for now, that will remain in my heart. Much love, my friends.

New Year, New Possibilities

Good afternoon everyone. I know it's a few days late, but Happy New Years to all. I myself had an excellent New Years. I barely did a thing. I played Xbox with my good buddy Charles Wells, then saw some old friends. For the first time in over 8 years, I didn't have a bonfire or throw a party or have a ton of people over. And strangely enough, also for the first time in over 8 years, I didn't seem to care. After New Years was over, that made me start thinking.

I, as with all younger people, have always been concerned with having a large amount of friends. I have always wanted to be doing something, always wanted people to like me. And that's why I was always so concerned with the New Years party. So what was it that caused me to not care so much this year? And then it hit me.

I'm growing up.

I used to be afraid to admit the fact that I am indeed aging and growing into the stage of my life that is full of trials and tests and responsibilities. After going through so many trials and tests already, I didn't want to increase it. But after much deliberation, I realized that I couldn't avoid it or stop it so I may as well embrace it. Then I remembered what my parents have been telling me for a while. Growing older and gaining more responsibilities are a natural part of life that God has ordained for us. Lately God has reminded me that it is our duty as humans to serve Him in every aspect of our lives, and this includes growing older and getting a job and buying a house and getting more responsibilities. And besides, God tells us how He sees time. Years to us are gone in an instant for Him. So remember my friends, our time here is short. So do not fret when things here seem terrible or seem like they are simply too much to bare. God gives us the strength that we need to survive. He wouldn't be much of a God if He didn't. And after this short life is over, He gives us the opportunity to exist with Him in paradise, outside the confines of time. And how could such a joy be overcome by the seemingly overwhelming trials of this world? The truth is, it can't.

Hopefully these words will help you in this new year. This truth that I have realized has given me a sense of hope for the future, starting with this year. And I hope it does the same for all of you. Much love my friends, may God be with you this year.

Gradual Progression

Today has been another one of those days in which I get myself fully clothed and publicly presentable, then never leave the house. And I am perfectly okay with that. Before I know it, having free time like this will almost seem like more of a dream than anything else, so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I bought a new stereo receiver recently. The sound quality and sheer power is unlike anything I've had before. More features than I know what to do with, many of which I haven't even discovered yet. As I sat there the night I purchased it and was setting it up, I couldn't help but smile as I heard the first few deep bass notes hit and shake the window. I then took a step back and took a look at what I call my own personal "Command Center" and began to think. I have a TV larger than most people should, multiple game systems, and now a stereo to match it all. I have a very nice computer, a nice phone, a nice car AND motorcycle that are both fully paid off, and countless other things. And besides just possessions, I have a beautiful home to live in, and a family that loves me more than I could ever imagine. I have a God who loves me unconditionally and takes complete care of me. He provides for every one of my needs, and many of my wants. He gives me peace in times of turmoil. He gives me hope when there is none. He gave me many intellectual gifts. He's given so much. And yet I sit here on His earth and I complain.

I complain about so many things. Small, pointless things that have no real validity or purpose. I complain about it not being warm enough for me to ride my motorcycle. I complain about not having as much money as I want to do every single little thing that I want. I constantly complained about how much I disliked school. He gave and He gave and I have given nothing in return. I became so wrapped up in creation that I began to forget about the creator. As I look around me, I see so many people who have it way worse than I do. I take so many things for granted, like a strong family life, or a car that I can rely on, or money to fall back on in case of an emergency. Where in the world did I get the idea that I had the right to complain when things don't go exactly the way I want them to? For anyone who reads this and knows me, they know it is true, and I'm sure it has effected more people than just myself. And for that, I am truly sorry.

It's time I stopped dwelling so much on what I don't have and remember the things that I do have. It's time I started loving the one who loves me. It's time I gave my life to the one who gave it to me in the first place. There's a long road ahead, but that road is filled with hope, joy, and peace. And most of all, love. My God has never failed me, and He never will.

And so my friends, I wish this same peace and joy on all of you. I could still be considered an infant in my spiritual life, but there is nothing wrong with that. Growth is always a good thing. Pray for me. Pray for us all.

Let's get started

With this being my first post, I feel as though I should make it a good one. Sadly, it is likely that I will not. Let me say first that this is not going to be a blog where I simply come and complain about things or run my mouth senselessly about topics that have no meaning or purpose. Or at least, that is not how I will view it. Although many people will disagree, I'm sure.

I wish I had started this a long time ago. Writing is something I've always very much enjoyed as both a form of entertainment and a source of relaxation and a way to vent my emotions. But due to my sloppy handwriting and poor memory, writing has become more of a chore than an enjoyment. But thankfully, living in the digital age that I do, blogging has become my new form of writing. Maybe now I can get back into the habit I once very much enjoyed.

This blog is going to contain my thoughts, opinions, and emotions on a wide variety of things, ranging from technology, to my hobbies and interests, to politics (very lightly), and even religion. If you do not like some of the things that I say, then I suggest you stop reading if it seems to upset you. But keep in mind, I will not remove a post or change my opinions on a particular subject just because it offends others. Moving on...

I wouldn't want to overwhelm the few readers that I may have at this point in time with too heavy of a post just starting off, so I suppose what I have said will suffice for now. Much love, my friends.